So apparently, I'm not "career-oriented."

Meaning, I'm not going to suck up to management, I'm not going to work double shifts without pay just to go above and beyond, and I'm not going to hinge my self-esteem on the length of time I've been at entry-level.


Ugh. Had my first interviews for a full-time job earlier this week, and the longer they went, the more my attention span wavered (which has NEVER happened mid-conversation before), and the more I asked myself "Do I even want this thing?"

The answer turned out to be NO.
Especially since the whole thing turned out to be one big lie, especially given the amount of offhand compliments they kept throwing at me.

Oh well, 'tis another lesson in my "what kind of job do I want?" education.

I've compiled a list of priorities in my career search:
-Creatively driven
-Uses natural abilities
-No 12-hour workdays
-No clock-watching, before or during
-No company politics (especially masquerading as "loyalty")
-Plenty of wiggle room
-No BS
-No pressure to advance, or demeaning of current position


...and I'm kinda torn.
On one hand, one of the things I've grown to despise about my current job is my lack of decision-making ability, especially regarding problem solving.
If there's a problem, I have to go through "channels" to get it fixed.
...which means it's not getting fixed EVER.

On the other, that kind of decision-making ability requires a crapload of responsibility, especially regarding my performance being judged based on the performance of others...and I hate that kind of setup.

I want to be able to make decisions and resolve issues, and yet be judged solely on MY actions and how well I do MY job.

I wonder if that even exists in reality.


Basically, the issue I'm faced with now is the belief that life isn't lived at work.
Thus, I shouldn't be looking for a job that will fulfill me, but rather something which provides a groove I can get into.
Just get up, go to work, stay in the groove, get off work, and THEN live life.

Scary thing is, that mindset seems to naturally lead to pining for the weekends and holidays and half-days and snow days, which seems like a sorry way to live.