-People who get energized by overcast days disgust me.
-I kinda miss the days when I actually watched TV.
-My memories of my paternal grandparents are happily unhampered by politics/religion/all of the other things that have separated me from my relatives as I've grown up.
-Everyone has that one friend/coworker who serves as a stress-test for the group by being happy and bubbly by default. When the bubble pops, brace yourself.
-I miss having work-friends. I'm friendLY, and I know people in the building, but it's not the same as what I was spoiled to have at the library for all those years.
-I apparently need to take the time to get into The West Wing.
-Okay seriously, in what world is speaking someone's name in their general direction constitute a "greeting"?
-You know you're building up a tolerance to energy drinks when the taste no longer turns your face inside-out.
-Apparently, when I'm sufficiently exhausted/frustrated, I turn into a little kid inside my head.
-I would probably feel worse about not hanging out with my family if anyone was reaching out to me trying to make plans. Especially since I don't have kids and am a totally free agent every Saturday.
-Some days, I feel like a lactose-intolerant cheesemaker when it comes to expressing affection via words.
-I feel truly incapable of thinking about gender (mine or anyone's) in anything BUT a detached, objective manner. All I know about my own is that it is a set of barbaric impulses to dominate and control against which I must constantly struggle.
-I can't imagine treating "I have a bachelor's degree in [X]" as a legitimate point in a debate, much less USING it as such. If your education confers greater knowledge of the subject, DEMONSTRATE IT THROUGH YOUR ARGUMENT.
-Do not flee from the limitations and conventions of your art when first you lay your hand to the canvass. It's possible to build a house with one's bare hands, but using all of the tools at one's disposal is much more likely to build something which will do what you want and need it to do.
-That sad moment when you want to introduce a coworker to a favorite comedian, but their best material is not safe for work.
-Only in America is "Please drink responsibly" needed for alcohol commercials.
-It's discouraging when friends who rely on medication for mental well-being suddenly lashes out and you can't tell if it's you, them, their meds, or the reason for their meds.
-A lack of training on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine.
-Few management actions hurt team morale like drafting the responsible employees to fill ini the gaps left by irresponsible employees who are still employed for some reason.
Saturday, September 30, 2017
Tuesday, July 11, 2017
My Brain Was Active Today...
Thoughts of Today:
1) "Logan" has forever changed the way I pronounce "North Dakota" in my head forever.
2) I'm still waiting for an economic downturn large enough to cause a mass layoff of professional athletes and film actors.
3) I need a right-brain job in which I work with project/assignment deadlines rather than customers.
4) It's amazing how much veggies can leave one feeling dehydrated.
5) Every time a self-identifying Christian quotes "an eye for an eye," I want to hit them over the head with a large slab of marble etched with "BUT I SAY UNTO YOU".
6) The Marvel logo gets cooler with each succeeding film.
7) Whenever I start to introspect about my personal psychological development, I become incapable of being productive at work.
8) You know you shouldn't work customer service when the phone rings and you want to answer it with "LEAVE ME ALONE ALREADY!"
9) You will never be [X-quality] enough for someone in your life.
10) Anime theme songs are like musical meth.
11) "You're a/an [X], so your opinion doesn't count" is why we need feminism.
12) Apparently, there is an organization in California dedicated to protecting the rights of retirees. Their slogan? "Protect Our Pensions"
13) New content addition for a high school Life Skills class: How to end a phone conversation in a non-awkward manner.
14) Rest in peace, Joan Lee. May you watch over your husband for all the years we have left with him.
In other news, does anyone else think Stan Lee will be the last surviving World War II veteran? The dude is 94, and gets around like he's in his 60s.
15) The Who's "Baba O'Reilly" heard through a single earbud is TRIPPY.
16) When you work in a call center but don't want to interact with people, butt-dials are your best friend.
17) I learned the hard way from an early age that I was not in control, and I don't think I've ever truly gained it.
18) Never underestimate the potential impact of an offhand ad hominem.
1) "Logan" has forever changed the way I pronounce "North Dakota" in my head forever.
2) I'm still waiting for an economic downturn large enough to cause a mass layoff of professional athletes and film actors.
3) I need a right-brain job in which I work with project/assignment deadlines rather than customers.
4) It's amazing how much veggies can leave one feeling dehydrated.
5) Every time a self-identifying Christian quotes "an eye for an eye," I want to hit them over the head with a large slab of marble etched with "BUT I SAY UNTO YOU".
6) The Marvel logo gets cooler with each succeeding film.
7) Whenever I start to introspect about my personal psychological development, I become incapable of being productive at work.
8) You know you shouldn't work customer service when the phone rings and you want to answer it with "LEAVE ME ALONE ALREADY!"
9) You will never be [X-quality] enough for someone in your life.
10) Anime theme songs are like musical meth.
11) "You're a/an [X], so your opinion doesn't count" is why we need feminism.
12) Apparently, there is an organization in California dedicated to protecting the rights of retirees. Their slogan? "Protect Our Pensions"
13) New content addition for a high school Life Skills class: How to end a phone conversation in a non-awkward manner.
14) Rest in peace, Joan Lee. May you watch over your husband for all the years we have left with him.
In other news, does anyone else think Stan Lee will be the last surviving World War II veteran? The dude is 94, and gets around like he's in his 60s.
15) The Who's "Baba O'Reilly" heard through a single earbud is TRIPPY.
16) When you work in a call center but don't want to interact with people, butt-dials are your best friend.
17) I learned the hard way from an early age that I was not in control, and I don't think I've ever truly gained it.
18) Never underestimate the potential impact of an offhand ad hominem.
Tuesday, March 14, 2017
The Ten American Commandments
1) Thou shalt serve the Market thy God with all they money, all thy labor, and all thy vote. Yea, though thy children go hungry and thou dost waste away beneath the grindstone, thou shalt shake thy fist at government while thy High Priest drinks the blood of thy sacrifices.
2) Thou shalt eat terrible food while feeling terrible, and shalt proclaim that thou hast earned it whene'er a loving friend doth protest.
3) Thou shalt kill, frequently, at the whim of thy trigger finger or at the behest of the paranoia provided to thee by the Market thy God.
4) Thou shalt not elect women to positions of power unless they swear themselves to the Market thy God, and to the leadership of their husbands/fathers/brothers/sons.
5) Thou shalt hate and fear the different, the exceptional, and the new.
6) Honor thy father, mother, grandfathers, grandmothers, and ancestors unto the seventh generation. Thou shalt honor thy children until they reach the Age of Educated Opinions.
7) Though shalt treat thy community solely as a truncheon with which to enforce thy grandparents' morality, especially wielded against the sins of "equal treatment under the law" and "taking care of everyone".
8) Thou shalt not exercise, sleep, or change thy diet enough to actually improve thy health, but thou shalt blame government for thy lack of it.
9) Thou shalt not admit that anyone anywhere might have anything better than thee, whether quality of life or life expectancy or education. Thou art American, and therefore superior.
10) Thou shalt not break from the herd, even as thou proclaimest the herd to be the Father of Lies.
2) Thou shalt eat terrible food while feeling terrible, and shalt proclaim that thou hast earned it whene'er a loving friend doth protest.
3) Thou shalt kill, frequently, at the whim of thy trigger finger or at the behest of the paranoia provided to thee by the Market thy God.
4) Thou shalt not elect women to positions of power unless they swear themselves to the Market thy God, and to the leadership of their husbands/fathers/brothers/sons.
5) Thou shalt hate and fear the different, the exceptional, and the new.
6) Honor thy father, mother, grandfathers, grandmothers, and ancestors unto the seventh generation. Thou shalt honor thy children until they reach the Age of Educated Opinions.
7) Though shalt treat thy community solely as a truncheon with which to enforce thy grandparents' morality, especially wielded against the sins of "equal treatment under the law" and "taking care of everyone".
8) Thou shalt not exercise, sleep, or change thy diet enough to actually improve thy health, but thou shalt blame government for thy lack of it.
9) Thou shalt not admit that anyone anywhere might have anything better than thee, whether quality of life or life expectancy or education. Thou art American, and therefore superior.
10) Thou shalt not break from the herd, even as thou proclaimest the herd to be the Father of Lies.
Sunday, February 19, 2017
When Your Parents Become Your In-Laws
Get your head out of your ass, there is no squickyness here.
My wife and I have been together for about ten and a half years (holy shit), and in that time my relationship with my family has taken several plunges.
Especially as I've grown and surrounded myself with growing people, and realized that most of my relatives do not fit this description, having stagnated either before I was born or at some point in my childhood or adolescence.
This is especially true of my parents, whose old-time-small-town religion has grated on me more and more as I've grown and bonded with people who are the opposite (whether still spiritual, agnostic, or decidedly atheist) and who demonstrate much greater empathy and intelligence.
While I always knew of my parents' proclivities regarding those who are different, it wasn't until I married my then-girlfriend, and proceeded to live an adult life vastly different from theirs, that it truly hit home.
Moreso since they apparently feel carte blanche to take spiritual potshots at my wife as not only their right, but their duty.
Even though I had made it as clear as I could very early on that she had not been raised in church, and had not been taught to treat church membership as a fundamental need.
I'm not sure how they interpreted my efforts at specificity and clarity, but one unsuccessful game of Bible Trivia at their house after we had been married for a little while threw them into a moral panic, peppered with phrasing like "You gotta get that girl in her Bible!" or "Is she just riding your coattails?"
A storm which we rode out, got home, high-fived, fucked, and went on living OUR life as WE saw fit.
It wouldn't be as deep or as frequent an irritation if my parents were gradually settling down to permanently occupy a set of comfy chairs in front of the TV like good little elderly bigots.
They live seven hours away, and typically don't harass us over the phone.
Unfortunately, they apparently suffer from the Baby Boomer deathly fear of growing old, and the subsequent inability to be content in one spot.
Thus, they are, to quote my or a later generation, "all up in our bizz," assuming that our residence is available as a place to stay when they are in town (almost every month, sometimes multiple times per month), questioning everything we do (and questioning several things we avoid doing specifically because they want us to do them), and generally demonstrating every stereotype associated with invasive in-laws, but inflicting the stereotype upon BOTH of us.
To the point that I've almost stopped referring to them as "my parents" when in pleasant company, instead calling them "my wife's in-laws".
How did I get to this point?
Well, old-time-small-town religion doesn't really have much for a boy to bond with his father aside from the typical redneck pursuits.
Which my dad wasn't into anyway, so that whole book was never even opened.
He was a raging alcoholic without any need for alcohol (plus my hometown was a dry county up until a few years ago), with nowhere to throw his random fits of fury except outward, at whomever happened to be in range.
There wasn't much physical violence, but for a child a parent who randomly flies into a screaming rage doesn't inspire trust or confidence.
That he also seemed in a constant state of at at least annoyance with someone somewhere didn't help, as I was quickly Pavlov'd into thinking he would fly off the proverbial handle at any moment, and kept my distance.
Which pissed him off, of course.
I wasn't able to stand up under the screaming until I was in high school, by which point I had been in enough fights to shout right back at him to bring it on (perhaps hoping a knockdown drag-out would finally settle it and let me move on).
He never took me up on that offer, of course.
Now he's in his seventies, and beating the living shit out of him probably wouldn't help anyway.
Plus he's a broken record since having a stroke and being reduced to spouting Bible verses constantly, likely due to that part of his memory being much more concrete than math or music and thus less subject to loss via brain damage (thanks to my wife for pointing that out after years of irritation).
As for my mother, old-time-small-town religion gives plenty of opportunities for a son and mother to bond, especially when the latter is a musician.
I studied voice and piano, and eventually trombone, and had many performance opportunities through our church.
And given that both of us were subject to the above random fits of rage, I would cling to her most of the time.
She enjoyed my confidence much longer than my father (if the latter EVER enjoyed it), and I even married a woman similar to her in many ways (favorite color, sung voice part, chosen profession, etc.).
But as I've grown and have experienced the world, my filter for what I can and cannot discuss with my mother has broadened and thickened.
And she too became a broken record eventually, based on her assumption (being a preacher's kid) that one NEEDS to attend church in order to have a community, or that one NEEDS to memorize the Bible to empathize with others and treat others as one wants to be treated.
I have friends whose parents were similar when we were children, but who have grown (along with their children) into people who actually live in the real world, and thus my friends can enjoy intimate relationships with them, with little or no filtering and little or no fear of judgment or moral panic.
I cannot express the depth of my envy for them.
My wife and I have been together for about ten and a half years (holy shit), and in that time my relationship with my family has taken several plunges.
Especially as I've grown and surrounded myself with growing people, and realized that most of my relatives do not fit this description, having stagnated either before I was born or at some point in my childhood or adolescence.
This is especially true of my parents, whose old-time-small-town religion has grated on me more and more as I've grown and bonded with people who are the opposite (whether still spiritual, agnostic, or decidedly atheist) and who demonstrate much greater empathy and intelligence.
While I always knew of my parents' proclivities regarding those who are different, it wasn't until I married my then-girlfriend, and proceeded to live an adult life vastly different from theirs, that it truly hit home.
Moreso since they apparently feel carte blanche to take spiritual potshots at my wife as not only their right, but their duty.
Even though I had made it as clear as I could very early on that she had not been raised in church, and had not been taught to treat church membership as a fundamental need.
I'm not sure how they interpreted my efforts at specificity and clarity, but one unsuccessful game of Bible Trivia at their house after we had been married for a little while threw them into a moral panic, peppered with phrasing like "You gotta get that girl in her Bible!" or "Is she just riding your coattails?"
A storm which we rode out, got home, high-fived, fucked, and went on living OUR life as WE saw fit.
It wouldn't be as deep or as frequent an irritation if my parents were gradually settling down to permanently occupy a set of comfy chairs in front of the TV like good little elderly bigots.
They live seven hours away, and typically don't harass us over the phone.
Unfortunately, they apparently suffer from the Baby Boomer deathly fear of growing old, and the subsequent inability to be content in one spot.
Thus, they are, to quote my or a later generation, "all up in our bizz," assuming that our residence is available as a place to stay when they are in town (almost every month, sometimes multiple times per month), questioning everything we do (and questioning several things we avoid doing specifically because they want us to do them), and generally demonstrating every stereotype associated with invasive in-laws, but inflicting the stereotype upon BOTH of us.
To the point that I've almost stopped referring to them as "my parents" when in pleasant company, instead calling them "my wife's in-laws".
How did I get to this point?
Well, old-time-small-town religion doesn't really have much for a boy to bond with his father aside from the typical redneck pursuits.
Which my dad wasn't into anyway, so that whole book was never even opened.
He was a raging alcoholic without any need for alcohol (plus my hometown was a dry county up until a few years ago), with nowhere to throw his random fits of fury except outward, at whomever happened to be in range.
There wasn't much physical violence, but for a child a parent who randomly flies into a screaming rage doesn't inspire trust or confidence.
That he also seemed in a constant state of at at least annoyance with someone somewhere didn't help, as I was quickly Pavlov'd into thinking he would fly off the proverbial handle at any moment, and kept my distance.
Which pissed him off, of course.
I wasn't able to stand up under the screaming until I was in high school, by which point I had been in enough fights to shout right back at him to bring it on (perhaps hoping a knockdown drag-out would finally settle it and let me move on).
He never took me up on that offer, of course.
Now he's in his seventies, and beating the living shit out of him probably wouldn't help anyway.
Plus he's a broken record since having a stroke and being reduced to spouting Bible verses constantly, likely due to that part of his memory being much more concrete than math or music and thus less subject to loss via brain damage (thanks to my wife for pointing that out after years of irritation).
As for my mother, old-time-small-town religion gives plenty of opportunities for a son and mother to bond, especially when the latter is a musician.
I studied voice and piano, and eventually trombone, and had many performance opportunities through our church.
And given that both of us were subject to the above random fits of rage, I would cling to her most of the time.
She enjoyed my confidence much longer than my father (if the latter EVER enjoyed it), and I even married a woman similar to her in many ways (favorite color, sung voice part, chosen profession, etc.).
But as I've grown and have experienced the world, my filter for what I can and cannot discuss with my mother has broadened and thickened.
And she too became a broken record eventually, based on her assumption (being a preacher's kid) that one NEEDS to attend church in order to have a community, or that one NEEDS to memorize the Bible to empathize with others and treat others as one wants to be treated.
I have friends whose parents were similar when we were children, but who have grown (along with their children) into people who actually live in the real world, and thus my friends can enjoy intimate relationships with them, with little or no filtering and little or no fear of judgment or moral panic.
I cannot express the depth of my envy for them.
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