I have heard that "there is no great art without great pain," and there are certainly thousands of examples of it across literature, music, and visual art.
Whether "great pain" translates to drug addiction, mental illness, trauma, disease, or depression, we have tons of evidence in the artists we admire that if properly channeled, can result in timeless work.
But what of the aspiring who have yet to know a "great pain"?
We are certainly in the hundreds of thousands.
Must we slave away on our projects in a hopeless dash to leave something worthwhile behind when we die?
Of course, there is plenty of good art without great pain.
We've all enjoyed music or literature or visual art from an artist who did not have his/her foundations shaken/shattered by life, and many of us have even had wonderful existential experiences with that art which has left us illuminated.
Another phrase tossed around is the ancient "Multi sunt vocati, pauci vero electi," translated "many are called, but few are chosen".
There is always the inherent risk when one becomes an artist (a calling if ever there was one) that one's art will only reach a few, or in worst cases no one else at all, while the artist slaves away at a day-job without meaning or merit.
These are the many, but "ars longa, vita brevis" (art is long, life is short), and for the artist the art sustains the soul through the endless grind, even with no audience.
At least for a little while.
But that was yesterday, when a lone musician sitting in his tiny apartment after a long day of hard labor would be filled with wonder as his fingers danced upon his instrument, heard by none.
Technology has given the truly dedicated musician, writer, or artist an endless audience for which to create.
Thus the lone scribe upon his keyboard reaches the world, the lone musician with instrument in hand and a lens in front of face, the lone artist with a digital pallet, all may reach out and find kindred spirits among the endless ocean of digital islands.
Which brings me to myself.
I have had endless opportunities these past nine months to write, to sing, to play, to IMPROVE my craft and my creations.
But I have wasted nearly all of it.
Why?
Because the same technology which provides the artist with an audience may also distract him/her into artistic doldrums in which the mind may still in some part dwell on the unfinished works, but the fingers do not apply themselves, and thus week after week, month after month the craft continues to atrophy.
The DISTRACTIONS! Oh, the distractions!
Am I truly so undisciplined after decades of training that I'm just another blank face staring at a screen?
Was I only a sharpened sword when surrounded by smiths?
Did I truly turn to rust in the instant of unsheathing on the battlefield?
Even READING, one of the few artistic constants in my life, now feels like a chore that I have to deliberately dedicate time toward on days when I have ZERO other commitments!
I have to TEAR myself away from the screen in order to accomplish anything, and it seems to require more and more effort.
And this with a desktop which requires that I sit at it.
I have no idea how much worse I would be if able to be so distracted while never even leaving my bed.
Is it because I do not truly have a daily routine?
These past months have been a massive change, going from working two jobs to working half of one (on-call only).
I keep telling myself "Today" or "This week, we'll do it differently," but the lack of an employment routine seems to sap all of the energy which should be devoted to my craft when the call doesn't come.
Apparently my mental state is manifesting itself outwardly.
On Friday, I had a high school senior ask my age, and when informed, respond with "It's okay, you're still young!"
I had no idea how to respond, and the memory leaves tears in my eyes.
Sunday, April 12, 2015
Thursday, April 9, 2015
Talkin' 'Bout My Generation....and churches
Speaking as an older "millennial," Christian churches in general seem to be pushing my generation away. Across nearly the entire spectrum of Christian denominational churches, mine seems to be the first generation to refuse to just fade into the crowd.
As children we were groomed to be "the future of the church," treated as its greatest treasure, nurtured, and had so much time, money, and energy poured into us via summer camps, daycare, Bible quizzing competitions, etc. As teens, we were treated as a burgeoning evangelical arm of the church, and even MORE time, energy, and money were poured into the youth group, sending us to conferences, more summer camps, miniature theological seminaries, etc. And our Sunday School classes encouraged us to ask questions and have doubts, and gave us a place to be individually and collectively edified spiritually.
But the moment we turned eighteen? Suddenly too much of that fell away. Many churches had college Sunday School classes and/or Wednesday night meetings, but suddenly the emphasis on us as a particular group within the church was gone, and for many of us the previous enthusiasm for church began to taper off. Especially for those who weren't going to college. They were expected to stop being themselves and become "part of the church" even sooner than the rest of us.
This tapering accelerated once we finished college, and suddenly the church seemed to just expect us to fade into the woodwork. After so many years of pastors and youth leaders being our spiritual confidants and support, and being treated like spiritual snowflakes with our own unique beliefs, we hit a brick wall. Every discussion with our new "peers" (anyone in the church over 30) becomes an argument when we even hint at disagreeing with that particular church or denomination's established doctrine, with a strong emphasis by the church leadership that we should stop rocking the boat (as opposed to actually addressing our concerns, respecting that one's beliefs are the result of the whole Wesleyan Quadrilateral, NOT BRINGING POLITICS INTO IT, etc.)
My generation clings to the idea which was ground into many of us from day 1: That one's spiritual journey and growth of belief is unique to oneself.
So when we feel pressure to give up our hard-won beliefs in favor of "the traditional," and pressure to fade into the crowd instead of staying true to ourselves and where we believe God has led us, we do one of three things:
1) Fight back harder, and feel ever more isolated in what is supposed to be a spiritual family.
2) Pack up and leave for greener pastures, hoping to find a haven of ideas and free thought and free belief.
3) Abandon ship, writing church attendance off entirely and looking to our social circles or the Internet for kindred spirits.
I personally have done 1 and 2, and since we moved to the backwater where the above problems are ramped up to ludicrous degrees via the lack of diversity (race, religion, political opinion, etc.) I have been edging toward 3.
As children we were groomed to be "the future of the church," treated as its greatest treasure, nurtured, and had so much time, money, and energy poured into us via summer camps, daycare, Bible quizzing competitions, etc. As teens, we were treated as a burgeoning evangelical arm of the church, and even MORE time, energy, and money were poured into the youth group, sending us to conferences, more summer camps, miniature theological seminaries, etc. And our Sunday School classes encouraged us to ask questions and have doubts, and gave us a place to be individually and collectively edified spiritually.
But the moment we turned eighteen? Suddenly too much of that fell away. Many churches had college Sunday School classes and/or Wednesday night meetings, but suddenly the emphasis on us as a particular group within the church was gone, and for many of us the previous enthusiasm for church began to taper off. Especially for those who weren't going to college. They were expected to stop being themselves and become "part of the church" even sooner than the rest of us.
This tapering accelerated once we finished college, and suddenly the church seemed to just expect us to fade into the woodwork. After so many years of pastors and youth leaders being our spiritual confidants and support, and being treated like spiritual snowflakes with our own unique beliefs, we hit a brick wall. Every discussion with our new "peers" (anyone in the church over 30) becomes an argument when we even hint at disagreeing with that particular church or denomination's established doctrine, with a strong emphasis by the church leadership that we should stop rocking the boat (as opposed to actually addressing our concerns, respecting that one's beliefs are the result of the whole Wesleyan Quadrilateral, NOT BRINGING POLITICS INTO IT, etc.)
My generation clings to the idea which was ground into many of us from day 1: That one's spiritual journey and growth of belief is unique to oneself.
So when we feel pressure to give up our hard-won beliefs in favor of "the traditional," and pressure to fade into the crowd instead of staying true to ourselves and where we believe God has led us, we do one of three things:
1) Fight back harder, and feel ever more isolated in what is supposed to be a spiritual family.
2) Pack up and leave for greener pastures, hoping to find a haven of ideas and free thought and free belief.
3) Abandon ship, writing church attendance off entirely and looking to our social circles or the Internet for kindred spirits.
I personally have done 1 and 2, and since we moved to the backwater where the above problems are ramped up to ludicrous degrees via the lack of diversity (race, religion, political opinion, etc.) I have been edging toward 3.
Middle School Subbing Thoughts of the Day
1) Having a movie day isn't as fun when the TV is on the teacher's desk.
2) I wonder if lesbian couples in public schools are able to fly under the PDA-radar, since it was apparently based on the archaic belief that any physical contact between males and females is harmful. I doubt most teachers would bat an eye at two girls walking or sitting hand in hand or with an arm around each other.
3) Middle schoolers seriously can't handle silence.
4) It's hard to get motivated to crack down on students talking in class when their only "assignment" is to stare at another screen.
5) Dear schools: Why would you EVER equip a public school classroom with computers with built-in WEBCAMS?
6) It's amazing how difficult middle schoolers apparently find it to stare at a screen for fifty minutes, given that they're doing exactly that for most of their free time.
7) So apparently, 8th grade is indeed that critical year when the changeover from obnoxious, must-stay-distracted child to more deeply distracted, less obnoxious teenager occurs.
8) Today I had a roomful of 8th graders snicker when the movie uttered the phrase "you might get lucky". Some things never change.
9) The social phenomenon of "Mr. [name] is my father" does not so much demonstrate the death of the nuclear family identity as it does the true state of the cult of individualism. The very same social conservatives who bemoan it as the former are fervent acolytes of the latter.
10) A classroom without its own thermostat is a blast-furnace waiting to happen.
11) Nothing, NOTHING freaks out a sub like the principal and on-duty police officer showing up at your classroom. Especially when the kid they're looking for is the one kid who didn't say "here" when you called roll, and is apparently a flight risk.
12) It's sad that my first viewing of a Robing Williams movie since his death is one surrounded by middle schoolers.
13) I find it fascinating that so many of my generation seem to be taking special care to endeavor to not blend in with the crowd, to be a generation of unique persons with unique spiritual and political beliefs, even as so many fall instep with the millions of mundane workers who slave away daily for a pittance.
14) It seems easier to get adults to slave away, to stop caring about their own dreams and goals in life, once they've procreated and suddenly focus on the child's dreams and goals in life.
15) Weird kid names of the day: Opollo and Ozabeth.
16) I had a 6th grader pointing out every single reference to other movies in the movie, in such a deadpan voice that all I could do was laugh.
17) Student quote of the day:
[after three boys are pulled out for tutorting] "All the clowns are gone. You can be at peace now."
18) Seems like I can't get through a day of subbing without picking up at least one new stain.
19) Dear teachers: If your school has multiple lunch periods, TELL YOUR SUB WHICH ONE YOU'RE ON!
20) Dear schools: A tub of Germex is NOT a sufficient replacement for soap and running water. I don't care how many germs it kills, I'm not eating with it on my hands!
21) Sun Chips for lunch on a subbing day means you spend the first two hours after lunch trying to get your throat cleared.
22) Dear schools: Build a nap room for your teachers' planning periods. And put a margarita machine in the lounge. And equip every adult in the building with a tranquilizer pistol.
23) I'm not sure why, but across thirteen grades of public school, I've had universally better experiences with female students than with males.
24) "Cultural bias" seems to have disappeared from our vernacular, with so much emphasis put on "not seeing race," and less and less on actually solving racial inequality. To say nothing of the MASSIVE cultural bias toward "Americanism".
25) I keep telling myself, "Don't compare your beginning to someone else's middle," but it feels like I'm not even on the beginning yet.
26) Apparently "Melvin" is coming back in style for kid names.
27) Every time I hear an elevator ding on a movie, the words "SYSTEM PURGE" flash across my eyes.
28) I think one of the last vestiges of my childhood introversion plays out as stuttering when dealing with authority figures. I'm apparently okay with strangers, as long as there no preset pecking order. But people "over" me, even for just the day, are apparently beyond my cultivated "life of the party" abilities.
29) I've gained some interesting experiences subbing this year, but I still feel kind of guilty for not applying at Wal-Mart.
30) The more males in a middle school class, the more stress the class overall will create in a teacher.
31) It's difficult to ascribe any particular qualities to one's surname (i.e., generosity, courage, pride) when the world is large enough to contain millions of people who have it.
32) I need a job in which I can really practice public speaking. I'm out of practice.
33) From grade 8 down to kindergarten, the last class of the day is the worst class of the day.
34) I'm amazed that people who don't move faster when they see a car coming have continued to maintain a presence in the gene pool.
35) I'm seriously thinking that the only reason the stereotype of "all men want sons" has continued to survive in this part of the developed world is because teaching is still a mostly-female profession. I still don't want kids, but every time I sub, the child-gender-preference pendulum swings harder toward FEMALE.
36) It seems like everyone with a career has at least one partially existential reason for choosing it or maintaining it. A teacher might love the look in the eyes of fascinated students. A soldier might find himself moved by the change to serve his country. An athlete might become addicted to the fire in the belly lit by competition. A musician experiences a spiritual connection to her audience via hard-fought performances.
Meanwhile, people who instead have jobs speak of them in terms of having landed on them by accident, or if it's a hated job in terms of cruel circumstances.
2) I wonder if lesbian couples in public schools are able to fly under the PDA-radar, since it was apparently based on the archaic belief that any physical contact between males and females is harmful. I doubt most teachers would bat an eye at two girls walking or sitting hand in hand or with an arm around each other.
3) Middle schoolers seriously can't handle silence.
4) It's hard to get motivated to crack down on students talking in class when their only "assignment" is to stare at another screen.
5) Dear schools: Why would you EVER equip a public school classroom with computers with built-in WEBCAMS?
6) It's amazing how difficult middle schoolers apparently find it to stare at a screen for fifty minutes, given that they're doing exactly that for most of their free time.
7) So apparently, 8th grade is indeed that critical year when the changeover from obnoxious, must-stay-distracted child to more deeply distracted, less obnoxious teenager occurs.
8) Today I had a roomful of 8th graders snicker when the movie uttered the phrase "you might get lucky". Some things never change.
9) The social phenomenon of "Mr. [name] is my father" does not so much demonstrate the death of the nuclear family identity as it does the true state of the cult of individualism. The very same social conservatives who bemoan it as the former are fervent acolytes of the latter.
10) A classroom without its own thermostat is a blast-furnace waiting to happen.
11) Nothing, NOTHING freaks out a sub like the principal and on-duty police officer showing up at your classroom. Especially when the kid they're looking for is the one kid who didn't say "here" when you called roll, and is apparently a flight risk.
12) It's sad that my first viewing of a Robing Williams movie since his death is one surrounded by middle schoolers.
13) I find it fascinating that so many of my generation seem to be taking special care to endeavor to not blend in with the crowd, to be a generation of unique persons with unique spiritual and political beliefs, even as so many fall instep with the millions of mundane workers who slave away daily for a pittance.
14) It seems easier to get adults to slave away, to stop caring about their own dreams and goals in life, once they've procreated and suddenly focus on the child's dreams and goals in life.
15) Weird kid names of the day: Opollo and Ozabeth.
16) I had a 6th grader pointing out every single reference to other movies in the movie, in such a deadpan voice that all I could do was laugh.
17) Student quote of the day:
[after three boys are pulled out for tutorting] "All the clowns are gone. You can be at peace now."
18) Seems like I can't get through a day of subbing without picking up at least one new stain.
19) Dear teachers: If your school has multiple lunch periods, TELL YOUR SUB WHICH ONE YOU'RE ON!
20) Dear schools: A tub of Germex is NOT a sufficient replacement for soap and running water. I don't care how many germs it kills, I'm not eating with it on my hands!
21) Sun Chips for lunch on a subbing day means you spend the first two hours after lunch trying to get your throat cleared.
22) Dear schools: Build a nap room for your teachers' planning periods. And put a margarita machine in the lounge. And equip every adult in the building with a tranquilizer pistol.
23) I'm not sure why, but across thirteen grades of public school, I've had universally better experiences with female students than with males.
24) "Cultural bias" seems to have disappeared from our vernacular, with so much emphasis put on "not seeing race," and less and less on actually solving racial inequality. To say nothing of the MASSIVE cultural bias toward "Americanism".
25) I keep telling myself, "Don't compare your beginning to someone else's middle," but it feels like I'm not even on the beginning yet.
26) Apparently "Melvin" is coming back in style for kid names.
27) Every time I hear an elevator ding on a movie, the words "SYSTEM PURGE" flash across my eyes.
28) I think one of the last vestiges of my childhood introversion plays out as stuttering when dealing with authority figures. I'm apparently okay with strangers, as long as there no preset pecking order. But people "over" me, even for just the day, are apparently beyond my cultivated "life of the party" abilities.
29) I've gained some interesting experiences subbing this year, but I still feel kind of guilty for not applying at Wal-Mart.
30) The more males in a middle school class, the more stress the class overall will create in a teacher.
31) It's difficult to ascribe any particular qualities to one's surname (i.e., generosity, courage, pride) when the world is large enough to contain millions of people who have it.
32) I need a job in which I can really practice public speaking. I'm out of practice.
33) From grade 8 down to kindergarten, the last class of the day is the worst class of the day.
34) I'm amazed that people who don't move faster when they see a car coming have continued to maintain a presence in the gene pool.
35) I'm seriously thinking that the only reason the stereotype of "all men want sons" has continued to survive in this part of the developed world is because teaching is still a mostly-female profession. I still don't want kids, but every time I sub, the child-gender-preference pendulum swings harder toward FEMALE.
36) It seems like everyone with a career has at least one partially existential reason for choosing it or maintaining it. A teacher might love the look in the eyes of fascinated students. A soldier might find himself moved by the change to serve his country. An athlete might become addicted to the fire in the belly lit by competition. A musician experiences a spiritual connection to her audience via hard-fought performances.
Meanwhile, people who instead have jobs speak of them in terms of having landed on them by accident, or if it's a hated job in terms of cruel circumstances.
Thursday, April 2, 2015
High School Subbing Thoughts of the Day
1) It's really sad to be surrounded by teenagers while you have a song too old/obscure for them to know stuck in your head.
2) I think a big reason I've enjoyed working with highschoolers is that I don't have to sugarcoat anything. This may be a condition limited to small-town high school kids, but it's still nice.
3) I'm not sure what to think when I hear psychologists define "Millennials" as "those adults who came of age after the year 2000". Partially because I'm lumped in with the term as an 18 year-old in 2003, and partially because it seems like nobody nowadays can agree on what "coming of age" even means anymore.
4) A clean teacher's desk means OCD, complete digitization, or complete apathy.
5) It's fascinating watching teens self-regulate when left to their own devices. Especially devices with Internet access.
6) Apparently this year's senior class at Miami High School has chosen "Challenge accepted" for its class motto.
7) It's nice to have a student apologize for repeatedly asking to leave the classroom.
8) I wonder if feeling like I haven't matured very much since high school makes me more qualified to teach it, or less so.
9) I think I want to teach high school or college so I won't have to dumb down my vocabulary.
10) A big issue I have with older teens is their apparent addictions to coffee and screens and earbuds. For introverts these last two are blessed relief compared to days gone by, a way to escape from the crowd around them and into a crowd of their choosing, but for everyone else the combination stunts the growth of the normal attention span.
11) Remember when BOOKS were the introvert's escape hatch rather than screens?
12) New situation to deal with: student PDA. From a couple finished with the day's assigned work and not distracting anyone who is actually facing forward in their seat.
13) Weird student t-shirt of the day: "God belongs in my city."
14) I continue to be fascinated by the visibility of high school stereotypes.
15) Being able to read a name aloud, look around the room to see the face of the student, and remembering name, face, and the association between them is collectively a level of teacher multitasking I have yet to achieve.
16) The hunger pang which is not merely thirst, and thus cannot be satisfied by liquid, is far deeper and more grinding than its shallow, flighty cousin.
17) It's been awhile since I saw a teen with a full beard.
18) I keep getting calls for teachers who have already been absent multiple times. It's getting really weird to have kids walk in and say "ANOTHER SUB?!"
19) You know a scene in a novel is beautifully written when it leaves you close to joyous, ecstatic, mournful, nostalgic tears in a room full of dozing, typing, chatting teenagers.
20) Whenever I read a well-crafted character description, the image is firm and concrete in my mind, at least in the moment of description. But afterward, as the character moves through the story, my vision of their physical person becomes hazy. I see their actions and hear dialogue and feel the settings clearly as ever, but their face or hair or any other physical feature not currently involved in the narration becomes vague and undefined.
21) It's difficult to focus on eating healthy when you're around teenagers who are constantly TALKING ABOUT FAST FOOD.
22) Beautiful moment: teens singing 90s rock songs in a reverent manner.
23) Always nice to see a big jock speak like a physics nerd.
24) You never really feel inflation until you bring a single dollar bill to a coke machine.
25) Everyone needs a point of focus for the mind and the heart. A select few have a single focus for both. An even more select few have it as their source of income.
26) It's either great or bad for my self-esteem that in my 30th year of life, I can still be mistaken for a well-dressed high school student.
27) We've gone from "YOU KIDS TURN THAT MUSIC DOWN!" to "TAKE OFF THOSE EARBUDS AND PAY ATTENTION!"
28) Other women become more or less attractive over time or when you don't see them for awhile but keep thinking about them. Your wife is more and better in reality than you could ever dream her of being.
29) Best thing about subbing high school? Plenty of time to think.
2) I think a big reason I've enjoyed working with highschoolers is that I don't have to sugarcoat anything. This may be a condition limited to small-town high school kids, but it's still nice.
3) I'm not sure what to think when I hear psychologists define "Millennials" as "those adults who came of age after the year 2000". Partially because I'm lumped in with the term as an 18 year-old in 2003, and partially because it seems like nobody nowadays can agree on what "coming of age" even means anymore.
4) A clean teacher's desk means OCD, complete digitization, or complete apathy.
5) It's fascinating watching teens self-regulate when left to their own devices. Especially devices with Internet access.
6) Apparently this year's senior class at Miami High School has chosen "Challenge accepted" for its class motto.
7) It's nice to have a student apologize for repeatedly asking to leave the classroom.
8) I wonder if feeling like I haven't matured very much since high school makes me more qualified to teach it, or less so.
9) I think I want to teach high school or college so I won't have to dumb down my vocabulary.
10) A big issue I have with older teens is their apparent addictions to coffee and screens and earbuds. For introverts these last two are blessed relief compared to days gone by, a way to escape from the crowd around them and into a crowd of their choosing, but for everyone else the combination stunts the growth of the normal attention span.
11) Remember when BOOKS were the introvert's escape hatch rather than screens?
12) New situation to deal with: student PDA. From a couple finished with the day's assigned work and not distracting anyone who is actually facing forward in their seat.
13) Weird student t-shirt of the day: "God belongs in my city."
14) I continue to be fascinated by the visibility of high school stereotypes.
15) Being able to read a name aloud, look around the room to see the face of the student, and remembering name, face, and the association between them is collectively a level of teacher multitasking I have yet to achieve.
16) The hunger pang which is not merely thirst, and thus cannot be satisfied by liquid, is far deeper and more grinding than its shallow, flighty cousin.
17) It's been awhile since I saw a teen with a full beard.
18) I keep getting calls for teachers who have already been absent multiple times. It's getting really weird to have kids walk in and say "ANOTHER SUB?!"
19) You know a scene in a novel is beautifully written when it leaves you close to joyous, ecstatic, mournful, nostalgic tears in a room full of dozing, typing, chatting teenagers.
20) Whenever I read a well-crafted character description, the image is firm and concrete in my mind, at least in the moment of description. But afterward, as the character moves through the story, my vision of their physical person becomes hazy. I see their actions and hear dialogue and feel the settings clearly as ever, but their face or hair or any other physical feature not currently involved in the narration becomes vague and undefined.
21) It's difficult to focus on eating healthy when you're around teenagers who are constantly TALKING ABOUT FAST FOOD.
22) Beautiful moment: teens singing 90s rock songs in a reverent manner.
23) Always nice to see a big jock speak like a physics nerd.
24) You never really feel inflation until you bring a single dollar bill to a coke machine.
25) Everyone needs a point of focus for the mind and the heart. A select few have a single focus for both. An even more select few have it as their source of income.
26) It's either great or bad for my self-esteem that in my 30th year of life, I can still be mistaken for a well-dressed high school student.
27) We've gone from "YOU KIDS TURN THAT MUSIC DOWN!" to "TAKE OFF THOSE EARBUDS AND PAY ATTENTION!"
28) Other women become more or less attractive over time or when you don't see them for awhile but keep thinking about them. Your wife is more and better in reality than you could ever dream her of being.
29) Best thing about subbing high school? Plenty of time to think.
Sunday, January 11, 2015
Arguing People to God
At least in evangelical churches, there has been a constant focus on apologetics for at least the past two generations, because pastors started reading C.S. Lewis and assuming themselves and their flocks able to argue others to Christ.
This focus includes all of the more willfully ignorant doctrines of inerrancy, creationism, eternal torment, the "rapture," etc etc. and has kept churches devoting huge amounts of energy to training their members to defend these doctrines, to the exclusion of any kind of help for the poor or reaching out to the community in any kind of authentic way.
Of course it has coincided with the evangelical push into politics, which has further crippled any attempts to help the poor (who are treated as moochers and given tracts instead of food or blankets) in individual communities, and alienated people who are not already members from even attempting to come into the church, or Christianity as a whole.
When all you have to offer people is arguments, you can't act surprised when they won't give you the time of day, especially when there are Christians willing to reach out with compassion and share personal experiences of Christ's presence in their lives, instead of launching a hermeneutical laundry list at them.
The best evidence of our faith is our personal testimony, always and forever, because no one can disprove your experiences. No rational person can say "That didn't happen to you!"
And it is our experiences which leave the most indelible marks upon us, which most influence our growth as Christians and as people.
And personal experience of God is no respecter of persons. Whether it's a push in the middle of your chest during an altar call or a sense of peace in the desert after a terrible battle or sudden strength in the midst of weakness, these are the moments when God feels most real to us, and through these experiences we can reach out to others, especially after surviving trauma.
Doctrinal minutiae can be argued 'till the cows come home (as we see 24/7 online), but it's just philosophy if the contestants don't have personal experience of the divine in their lives.
We cannot bring others into Christ.
The Spirit brings them.
We must simply hold the door open.
And the way to do that is not to argue them in, but to reach out, take hold, and build a relationship.
The knowledge of Scripture and one's personal doctrines comes into play AFTER the relationship has been established, or not at all.
And "not at all" happens much more often than pastors are apparently comfortable with, because the Spirit does not follow our timetable.
So keep yourself focused on building and strengthening the relationship.
Be ready to answer questions, but until they are asked, focus on the other person's needs, not on your desire to convert them.
This focus includes all of the more willfully ignorant doctrines of inerrancy, creationism, eternal torment, the "rapture," etc etc. and has kept churches devoting huge amounts of energy to training their members to defend these doctrines, to the exclusion of any kind of help for the poor or reaching out to the community in any kind of authentic way.
Of course it has coincided with the evangelical push into politics, which has further crippled any attempts to help the poor (who are treated as moochers and given tracts instead of food or blankets) in individual communities, and alienated people who are not already members from even attempting to come into the church, or Christianity as a whole.
When all you have to offer people is arguments, you can't act surprised when they won't give you the time of day, especially when there are Christians willing to reach out with compassion and share personal experiences of Christ's presence in their lives, instead of launching a hermeneutical laundry list at them.
The best evidence of our faith is our personal testimony, always and forever, because no one can disprove your experiences. No rational person can say "That didn't happen to you!"
And it is our experiences which leave the most indelible marks upon us, which most influence our growth as Christians and as people.
And personal experience of God is no respecter of persons. Whether it's a push in the middle of your chest during an altar call or a sense of peace in the desert after a terrible battle or sudden strength in the midst of weakness, these are the moments when God feels most real to us, and through these experiences we can reach out to others, especially after surviving trauma.
Doctrinal minutiae can be argued 'till the cows come home (as we see 24/7 online), but it's just philosophy if the contestants don't have personal experience of the divine in their lives.
We cannot bring others into Christ.
The Spirit brings them.
We must simply hold the door open.
And the way to do that is not to argue them in, but to reach out, take hold, and build a relationship.
The knowledge of Scripture and one's personal doctrines comes into play AFTER the relationship has been established, or not at all.
And "not at all" happens much more often than pastors are apparently comfortable with, because the Spirit does not follow our timetable.
So keep yourself focused on building and strengthening the relationship.
Be ready to answer questions, but until they are asked, focus on the other person's needs, not on your desire to convert them.
Saturday, January 10, 2015
Brain Vomit for the beginning of my Thirtieth Year
I have found these last few months that for myself and my own soul, solitude is not conducive to art.
What did I want to do with life before reality and lack of solid employment set in?
Write?
Sing?
Play in a band (the concert or marching or jazz type)?
I can never tell, with as foggy a memory as I now have, if I ever stopped to think of my musical exploits in any kind of categorical manner between "passion" and "profession".
Maybe I was just swept along, and didn't stop to think until I found myself abruptly tossed from the river.
And of course, by then it was too late to think of passion or profession because I was too much in shock at my own abrupt ejection.
"The longer you wait to finish, the less likely you are to ever do so."
-somebody somewhere
And while my own mental musicianship has greatly benefited my marriage and several very deep friendships, there is ever the gnawing sensation in moments of clarity that I have a large store of potential which continues to lie fallow.
Both because I seem unable to make a profession of it and because I find so little true outlet for it.
Especially due to my own introspective nature leading more readily to depression than to creativity.
And yet the clock still ticks, and each time I raise my head above the flood of time I find myself that much closer to the waterfall, that point at which there will be no more chance to plant my own eternal stone in the riverbed to say to all who pass that way after me that I WAS HERE!
I envy my wife to no end, not only for her lack of introspection but for her simple flow from passion to profession to indelible mark upon the next generation.
What did I want to do with life before reality and lack of solid employment set in?
Write?
Sing?
Play in a band (the concert or marching or jazz type)?
I can never tell, with as foggy a memory as I now have, if I ever stopped to think of my musical exploits in any kind of categorical manner between "passion" and "profession".
Maybe I was just swept along, and didn't stop to think until I found myself abruptly tossed from the river.
And of course, by then it was too late to think of passion or profession because I was too much in shock at my own abrupt ejection.
"The longer you wait to finish, the less likely you are to ever do so."
-somebody somewhere
And while my own mental musicianship has greatly benefited my marriage and several very deep friendships, there is ever the gnawing sensation in moments of clarity that I have a large store of potential which continues to lie fallow.
Both because I seem unable to make a profession of it and because I find so little true outlet for it.
Especially due to my own introspective nature leading more readily to depression than to creativity.
And yet the clock still ticks, and each time I raise my head above the flood of time I find myself that much closer to the waterfall, that point at which there will be no more chance to plant my own eternal stone in the riverbed to say to all who pass that way after me that I WAS HERE!
I envy my wife to no end, not only for her lack of introspection but for her simple flow from passion to profession to indelible mark upon the next generation.
Thursday, June 20, 2013
Well dayum...
I had hoped to make this a daily blog, but that whole employment BS got in the way.
If I wrote out (like, entirely) even half the fanfics I've thought of in my lifetime, I'd be sued into the ground, but I'd have hundreds of novels already finished.
So, since I keep trying to type this list and Firefox keeps crashing, here goes.
One shot.
Every fanfic idea I've ever had.
1) What if a centuries-old descendant of Old Valyria had given Tyrion the Lannister house sword Brightroar just before the Battle of the Blackwater?
2) What if Nick Fury had given Captain America a credit card with no limit and told him to "rediscover America, and decide if it's still worth fighting for"?
3) What if Boromir had never reached Rivendell?
4) What if the Minbari hadn't opened their gun ports during first contact with humans?
5) What if Anakin and Padme had publicly announced their marriage just after the ceremony?
6) What if we'd actually gotten some sense of "normal" proceedings at the Tulsa House of Night BEFORE all hell broke loose?
7) What if Raven wasn't so determined to outline the teeth-grinding details of her goth-ness?
8) What if Wolverine and Kitty Pryde had had an actual, long-term relationship?
9) What if the original colonists of Pern had actually left instructions behind so their descendants could find AIVAS?
10) What if Superman had landed in Oklahoma?
11) What if Feanor hadn't left the Silmarils, and had been slain by Morgoth when he and Ungoliant attacked Valinor?
12) What if they actually explain the above story in one of the Peter Jackson Hobbit movies, having already mentioned Ungoliant?
13) What if the Beast Wars had happened in modern America?
14) What if Naruto had learned Rasengan before the Art of the Shadow Doppleganger?
15) What if Ino had a girl-crush on Sakura, but disguised it with jealousy?
16) What if Goku's ability to drastically increase his strength after being mortally wounded had been discovered as soon as his training with Muten Roshi started, and he had been "trained" by being brought to the brink of death again and again and healed with Senzu beans again and again? Would he have been able to kill King Piccolo in one shot?
17) Sailor Solar. A dude. Dressed like a pre-armor-summoning Ronin Warrior. That is all.
18) What if the spirit of Jon Arryn had appeared to Robert and Eddard in the catacombs of Winterfell and revealed the exact circumstances of his murder?
19) What if Guy Montag had let his wife die that first night?
20) What if Batman had TAKEN A NAP during the initial events of Knightfall?
...okay so it's not all of them ever, but I'm running out of time for today and this is good brain-vomit.
None of these are trademarked, copyrighted, etc. by the way.
If any of them get you writing, I'll take it as a compliment and probably critique the living hell out of it.
If I wrote out (like, entirely) even half the fanfics I've thought of in my lifetime, I'd be sued into the ground, but I'd have hundreds of novels already finished.
So, since I keep trying to type this list and Firefox keeps crashing, here goes.
One shot.
Every fanfic idea I've ever had.
1) What if a centuries-old descendant of Old Valyria had given Tyrion the Lannister house sword Brightroar just before the Battle of the Blackwater?
2) What if Nick Fury had given Captain America a credit card with no limit and told him to "rediscover America, and decide if it's still worth fighting for"?
3) What if Boromir had never reached Rivendell?
4) What if the Minbari hadn't opened their gun ports during first contact with humans?
5) What if Anakin and Padme had publicly announced their marriage just after the ceremony?
6) What if we'd actually gotten some sense of "normal" proceedings at the Tulsa House of Night BEFORE all hell broke loose?
7) What if Raven wasn't so determined to outline the teeth-grinding details of her goth-ness?
8) What if Wolverine and Kitty Pryde had had an actual, long-term relationship?
9) What if the original colonists of Pern had actually left instructions behind so their descendants could find AIVAS?
10) What if Superman had landed in Oklahoma?
11) What if Feanor hadn't left the Silmarils, and had been slain by Morgoth when he and Ungoliant attacked Valinor?
12) What if they actually explain the above story in one of the Peter Jackson Hobbit movies, having already mentioned Ungoliant?
13) What if the Beast Wars had happened in modern America?
14) What if Naruto had learned Rasengan before the Art of the Shadow Doppleganger?
15) What if Ino had a girl-crush on Sakura, but disguised it with jealousy?
16) What if Goku's ability to drastically increase his strength after being mortally wounded had been discovered as soon as his training with Muten Roshi started, and he had been "trained" by being brought to the brink of death again and again and healed with Senzu beans again and again? Would he have been able to kill King Piccolo in one shot?
17) Sailor Solar. A dude. Dressed like a pre-armor-summoning Ronin Warrior. That is all.
18) What if the spirit of Jon Arryn had appeared to Robert and Eddard in the catacombs of Winterfell and revealed the exact circumstances of his murder?
19) What if Guy Montag had let his wife die that first night?
20) What if Batman had TAKEN A NAP during the initial events of Knightfall?
...okay so it's not all of them ever, but I'm running out of time for today and this is good brain-vomit.
None of these are trademarked, copyrighted, etc. by the way.
If any of them get you writing, I'll take it as a compliment and probably critique the living hell out of it.
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